Τετάρτη, 30 Μαΐου 2012

ME AGAINST THE WORLD

kai fysika den anaferomai sto trano kommati twn Molly Hatchet, alla sthn ysteria pou exei piasei ton kosmo teleutaia na me krazei kai n' anaferetai s' emena ws "the faggot formerly known as Hostiras" aka TFFKAH....i otidhpote sto diaolo arxika vgainoun....



   Arxika ofeilw na sas pw oti ta epixeirhmata sas einai akyra kyriws giati.......egw gamhsa Vraziliana!!!
(synevei persy kai 8a ma8ete leptomereies otan ksanagrapsw to epomeno "part")

En synexeia, me sygrinete sta greeklish me to Shy-n00bie, me ton opoio omws kamia sxesh den exw giati autos einai agrammatos kai anor8ografos, enw egw exw doktora kai pi-eits-di stis akyres glwsses, enw autos meta vias ksexwrizei ta xartonomismata.

synexizotas thn yperaspish mou, o Platwnas, prepei na mou anagnwrisete oti anaprosdiorizomai sth grafh mou kai den menw stasimos, san merikous-merikous-onomata-de-leme-oikogeneies-den-8igoume-ektos-isws-apo-merikes-manoules!!


Epipleon, mia kai oi megaloi bloggers "pe8anan" 'h psofane arga, kapoios prepei na parei th 8esh tous kai

ZBAAAAAAAMMMM MADAFAKAZ

ekei bainw egw!!!

nai...nai kserw ti akolou8ei twra!!!
olo to hate-list me sxolia tou typou "ksekavala malaka kai vale to kalami sto gwlo sou"....

den borw giati einai akoma sto kwlaraki ths mamas sou kai petaei twra san ton Harry Potter!!!

KAI AUTO EINAI TO 1000sto ASTEIO POU KANW ME MAMADES!!!!




I WILL NEVER-EVER FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEBODY ELSE'S MOTHAAAAAAAA!!

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kyries kai kyrioi hremiste kai yposxomai oti 8a afhsw tis mamades hsyxes. Ola auta ta ar8ra einai apla "fillers" gia na parexw grhgorh kai xortastikh apolaush ston kosmo mexri na boresw na sas liwsw san tarama ton xeimwna....'h opote sto diaolo parw to i-pad.


STO METAKSY STH MORDOR TOU MYALOU MOU kai afou exw teleiwsei me ola ta "parts", exw hdh sxediasei ena kainourio consept gia tous "agaphmenous mou bloggers" to opoio fysika, gi' akoma mia fora, 8a sas kanei na katalavete me ti apovrazmata kai xelononitzakia exw bleksei...

To 8ema tis kainourias seiras 8a einai......
(cliff-hanger sta moutra sas gi' akoma mia fora)







Κυριακή, 27 Μαΐου 2012

MIKRES APOKALYPSEIS

xairetw ta plh8h kai ta synafh...


Katarxhs na pw oti den apanthsa se kanena sxolio sth brohgoumenh anarthshs, dioti to ar8ro ka8eauto hto se morfh kswfyllou periodikou, opotes den dinontai apanthseis sta kswfylla periodikou. 8a apanthsw omws edw kai ksekiname


Se eksi mhnes exoume Xristougenna kai mia kai eimai ki egw se xristougenniatikh fash, lew na ksekinhsw na ta lew. 
   File mou pas sthn paralia (6 mhnes prin ta xristougenna) kai mou pasaleivesai me ladia kai skata pou se "prostateuoun" apo ton hlio kai meta mou mpaineis sth 8alassa....esy kai oloi oi ypoloipoi ekei kai otan vgainetai oloi mazi exete ftiaksei mia yperoxh petrelokylida (to piasate to yponnooumeno me ton Petreleh eee???). Kai kala, emena gama me, eimai 33 xronwn kai thn paleuw, TA PAIDAKIA DEN TA SKEFTESAI????
Paw,o Poseidwnas, na vgw apo to nero kai exw ton ka8e malaka me th fwtografikh, na fwtografizei to mouni tou/ton poutso tou 'h ton kollhto tou se poza "gorgona" kai 8a prepei na ton perimenw na kentrarei gia na perasw....FWTOGRAFOI EISTE VAROS THS KENWNIAS. 
Erxesai me tous filous sou kai arxizete na fwnazete kai na lete malakies dynata, thn wra pou egw liazw to xalkino kormi mou kai kanw ekeino to fantastiko tsigaro meta to sklhro kolympi....pes mou poios prepei na ginei stoxos enos snaiper?!?!


Bam-bam sou vrika 3 periptwseis xeiroterwn apo ta paidia me tis raketes. Hdh akouw ton 8wma na me vrizei kai tou lew: "an htan gomenes-mounares pou epaizan raketes kai kouniontan vyzakia kai kwlarakia 8a evgazes to skazmo". Den 8a se xarakthrisw "pseuth kai aderfh".....teinw pros to "mh-alh8h kai bi-curious". Nam, agaph mou, ksereis oti sou exw adynamia, alla den eisai to kentro tou sumpantos mou. Hdh edw kai polla xronia, oloi exoun grapsei ar8ra enantion twn raketadwn, ara einai sympwsh pou eixes grapsei ki esy ar8ro twra.




Mia loipon kai plhsiazoun ta xristougenna, as poume kai  gia tis aderfes pou mou thn peftoun. Dystyxws den einai h prwth fora. Synolika metraw gyrw sta 16 pesimata kai ka8e fora hmoun eugenhs kai den tous sapisa. Alla epeidh plhsiazoun xristougenna, ofeilw na pw oti, ka8e fora pou mou erxotan zeugaraki sto bar, to psiloepaiza aderfh gia na mhn niwsei apeilh to agori (kai mono h emfanhsh mou dhwlnei anwtero arseniko) kai na mou afhsoun kanena tyxero.


Synexizontas  sto xristougenniatiko pneuma, 8elw na dhlwsw oti, par' olh thn kalh mou h8opoiha, sixainomai na mou deixnoun fwtografies kai eidika pozarismenes kai sthmenes, me thn profash "koita pws hmoun palia/DES EDW MALLI/e tote hmoun pio xontros/koita ti omorfh korh pou exw". Dhlwnw oti STARXIDIA MOU KAI 2 AUGA TOURKIAS POSSE. An 8es na mou dikseis kati pragmatika aksioprosekto kai endiaferon, deikse mou th gomena sou gymnh kai ta synafh....ekei me exeis kerdisei!!!Kai afou erxontai xristougenna kai ta leme ola, exw vgalei apeires fwto gymnos gia na tis steilw se kopeles pou eixame phdhxtei, gia na tis exoun korniza sto spiti tous h "wall-paper" sto kinhto tous!!!




Gia tous koiliakous den xreiazete na tous sxoliasw, erxontai eipame xristougenna kai den xalaw th zaxarenia mou.


Analogizomenos th fatnh me xristoulh, panagitsa kai ton allon pou ekane ton patera alla allos htan o pateras kai sthn telikh den 8ymamai t' onoma tou, erxetai sto myalo mou  h prwth fora pou 8a fereis kainouria gomena sto spiti sou.
Mia kopela SOVARH xreiazetai diapisteuthria oti den thn exeis gia mia-dyo ksepetes kai meta "pare lefta gia taksi"....
Kleinontas h porta pisw sas, ksekinas mpalamouti, piasokwli kai xeirolaves sto mouni gia na ths deikseis oti thn po8eis gamiwntas. Deikse ths oti thn 8eleis trela san poutana pou perimenei na plwrh8ei.
Thn odhgeis me synoptikes sto dwmatio sou, opou se emfanes shmeio prepei na vriskontai oi xartopetsetes pou skpoupizeis ta flokia meta apo ka8e malakia.
 TOUSE!!!H gomena katalavainei amesa oti den eisai kanenas tyxaios kai oti se endiaferei poly h prwsopikh sou ygiy....ugiyn......hgyein......H PROSOPIKH SOU KA8ARIOTHTA TELOS PANTWN kai oti kwlometras ki aksizeis.
Meta tis prwtes 5 staseis, ths porteineis na sou dwsei kwlo, anoigwntas parallhla kai me xarh, to komodino, epideiknywntas to koutaki me thn vazelinh.......THN KERDISES LEME!!!
Ths dhlwneis amesa oti, af' enos den 8eleis na thn poneseis kai af' etairou, zoume se dyskolous kairous kai mia anepi8ymhth eggymoshny einai ANEU8YNOTHTA.....
apla "MERRY CHRISTMAS"!!!!


Se xristougeniatiko fonto kai to 8ema me to peprwmeno.
Kapote, prin xronia, apo thn tsantila mou giati htan mounopano, arxisa na klevw lefta apo to tameio tou afentikou mou, me tetoio tropo pou den me eperne xampari...o troxos den xreiasthke na kylhsei poly. Ena afrodhsio noshma argotera kai plhrwsa AKRIVWS osa eixa klepsei stous giatrous kai tis 8erapeies, me bonus,ton aforhto pono twn kaustikwn aleifwn ths 8erapeias....m' ena zbaro, 2 trygonia....kai to afentiko mou exase lefta ki egw "timwrh8hka" gia th malkismenh mou antilhpsh....
Gia na ta poume etsi....ligo xristougeniatika, den pisteuw  sto peprwmeno me thn ennoia oti ola exoun prodiagrafei apo th gennhsh mou, alla s' auto pou oi arxaioi onomazan "nomoteleia", dhladh, ka8e praksh  8a exei kai tis synepeies tis. An esy me poustia katafereis na tous ksefygeis twra, 8a tis vreis meta brosta sou SE XEIROTERO VA8MO, gia na boresei na epel8ei isorropia (MA TI LEW O GURU RE MALAKA!!!!!!)


teleiwnontas kai gia na kleisw ton kyklo twn mikrwn mou mystikwn kai gia na katalavete to 8ema "xristougenna" pou sas espase t' arxidia, ofeilw me ka8e ypeu8ynothta na dhlwsw eura8sws oti....
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mou aresei o "Mikros Tympanisths", alla me tous ellhnikous stixous pou gamane kwlous ksera kai eidika ekei pou leei 


"ki egw gyrizw apopse ston ouranooooooo....t' asteri psaxnw na vrw to feitwno, ra-pam-pam-paaam".......malaka sygginhsh









Παρασκευή, 25 Μαΐου 2012

ERXETAI SYNTOMA

....oxi to i-pad,alla kainouria anarthsh me 8ema tis mikres paparies ths zwhs ths opoies den martyrhsa potes.


epishs stamatiste na miseite ta paidia pou paizoun raketes sthn paralia, giati eseis apoteleite megalyterh enoxlhsh. Yparxoun xeiroteroi 8amwnes ths paralias...


Mallon mou thn peftoun 2 aderfes...kai den milaw gia kanonikes aderfes me mouni/vyzia kai ta synafh, alla apo tis alles....nai autes pou to roufane to saliggari.


"ela na sou deiksw mia fwtografia mou otan hmoun pio neos"......ante gamhsou. Ama eisai magas deikse mou mia fwtografia sou otan hsoun pio geros.


Oi koiliakoi myes einai makran oi pio YPERTIMHMENOI myes tou swmatos gia tous fouskwtous....apla skepsou poia einai h xrhsh tous...an den eisai epaggelmatias bokser, tote ma8e oti einai autoi pou piezoun ta antera gia na xezeis me perissia dynamh....bravo fouskwte, th gemizeis th lekanh (arxisan ki emena na diagrafontai panw sto kormi mou....mhpws prepei n' anhsyxw?)


Otan thn fereis sto spiti sou, deikse ths to paketo me tis xartopetsetes dipla sto krevati sou kai th vazelinh sto syrtari....molis kerdises thn kardia ths.


Peprwmeno: ksefyge tou TWRA kai synanthse to argotera tiga sto anavoliko.






EISAI MAGAS? EXEIS ARXIDIA? TO TRWS TO ROKFOR?
GRAPSE APO KATW TO SXOLIO SOU

Τρίτη, 22 Μαΐου 2012

O,TI ARXIZEI WRAIA TELEIWNEI ME PONO

shmera eixa skopo na kanw anarthsh me allo 8ema. Anti autou 8a moiarstw m ' esas merika x8esina gegonota.


Kserete poly kala oti den eimai o "agaphmeno mou hmerologio shmera exesa sth glastra", alla h x8esinh hmera aksizei na shmeiw8ei.


   ksypnaw to prwi me mia afantasth energeia!!!
Eniw8a pantodynamos, milame gia OVERPOWERED mexri kai thn teleutaia mou ksyrismenh arxidotrixa. Paraleipw prwinous kafedes kai tsigara kai pame kateu8eian sto gymnasthrio, opou h prwth propohnsh vghke neraki. Meta kapakia internet gia na dw  ti ginetai kai ksana-mana (tourouuu rou-rou-rou) gymnasthrio, opou kai h deuterh (h varia) vghke les kai shkwna poupoula!!


   Paw douleia xwris na ksekourastw (oxi oti eniw8a kamia sovarh kourash o pantodynamos) kai ola kylousan yperoxa!!!
Poly douleia milame, alla ta paidia eksw (servitoroi) ki egw sth bara, de masousame. Kefi, xara, gamw ta bourbouar apo tous pelates kai   ola kylousa g-a-m-w leme!!


kata tis 9mish kai afou ta pelatakia mas eixan ksekoliastei sto fa'i' sto estiatorio, arxizoun kai mas kanoun ena maziko DOU kai arxizoun na mas gamoun asaliwtous....


Kai pali de  masisame. 
To bar htan perikyklwmeno apo dipsasmena gia alkool ork, enw panw sth bara mou, me apeilousan me peristrofa, 6-7 akoma paragelies.


Gia na katalavete, eimai monos mesa sth bara kai mono an ginetai pragmatika ths pornhs, vazw thn Olga, th mia apo tis servitores mou mesa, gia na vgazei pota. To bar einai all-inclussive kai auto shmainei oti pinoune TZABA KAI ATSAMATHTA.


Ekei loipon pou mas petsokovane san patsa sto xasapio, mou erxetai paraggelia ena mojito, mia caipirinha kai ena banana-Daquiri.......gamisiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii......


Ta sygekrimena pota anhkoun ston katalogo twn potwn pou PREPEI na ta plhrwsoun kai einai ena gamhmeno palouki, tetoio pou oi tourkoi sthn Alamana anti na souvlizane ton Diako, 8a tou paragelnane auta ta pota....gia te8oio gamhsi milame....


Thn wra omws pou xreiazomai egw na ta etoimasw, 8a borousa na vgalw 40-50 pota. Gia te8oia taxythta milame.
Pernw goudoxeri, zaxares, mentes, lime, blender kai ta loipa kai etoimazontas ta, arxizw na vrizw xristous kai panagies sta ellhnika kai sta finlandika. O kosmos na me exei perikyklwsei kai h kahmenh h Olga na mhn prolavainei na vgazei paragelies sto bar....nauagio milame....sto metaksy, ena zeugari Letonwn pou milousan rwsika kai ta legame, eidan thn ekfrash sto proswpo mou kai me rwtane ti egine. Tous arxizw na tous ekshgw sta agglika, gia na katalavei kai o ypoloipos kosmos (emmesa), oti o logos pou argoun ta pota tous, einai 4-5 malakes (pou den hksera poioi sto boutso htan), pou 8elane special pota sth mesh tou tsounami....eutyxws oloi katalavan ti ginotan kai arxisan na tous vrizoun ki autoi....


Teleiwnei ki auto to martyrio kai synexizotan h katastrofh anekselegta....


Alla h poutana h moira mou eixe skopo na  mou topo8ethsei mia mhtra ekei pou kapote eplean ena zeugari trofanta arxidia kai peftei to thlefwno.....


Apo th resepsion (kala to grafw?!?!) loipon, mou lene pws enas pelaths h8ele ROOM-SERVICE...............


GAMW TO XRISTO KAI TH BANAGIA TOUS

atomo gia auth th douleia den exoume sto ksenodoxeio kai otan prokeitai gia pota sto dwmatio, prepei na apospastei atomo apo to bar gia na fygei sfaira ston malaka, na tou paei ta pota, na parei ta fraga kai na epistrepsei san tyfwnas pisw...afou o resepsionistas akouse ta gamwstaura tou, mou antekrouse oti DEN GINETAI na mhn ginei to room-service...sto 2lepto pou mesolavhse milwntas sto thlefwno, oi pelates akousan fysika tis kataramenes lekseis "room-service" kai me koitousan me mia katanohsh kai mia sympa8eia pou espage kokala.

   To arxidi loipon h8ele : ena Bacardi-orange kai ena kalo irlandeziko ouisky, straight kai 8a me plhrwne metrhta.....

Den mporousa na steilw atomo sto dwmatio, gia na mh xa8ei teleiws h bala, opote ksana h Olga mesa kai feugw EGWGAMWTOFELEKIMOU na paw na servirw ton arxida....

Anevainw loipon pros tis souites kai perimenw na dw kanena kwlogero me kamia mounitsa mesa 'h kati paromoio telwspantwn.
Xtypaw thn porta kai lew me varia antrikia fwnh "ROOM-SERVICE" (h8ela na pw kai "gamw to mouni ths manas sou", alla exoume kai Ellhnes sto ksenodoxeio).
Anoigei h porta kai ti na dw.....enas pitsirikas germanos, yperflwros me kati tatouazakia pou tairiazoun mono se aderfes mikrou velinekous pou trigyrizei to ksenodoxeio me ena, idias e8nikothtas, 8hlyko elf, htan-den htan 18 xronwn kai mou exei vgalei to "laternative" dermatino portofoli gia na me plhrwsei.
O logariasmos htan 9,70 eurw kai mou dinei 10riko kai mou leei na krathsw ta resta kai oti lypatai pou den exei na mou dwsei perissotera.......



STAMATAME THN AFHGHSH GIA 2 LEPTA.....


Exw hdh kleisei prwto trapezi sta gamwkazana ths kolashs (symfwna me tous xristianous), me tis xristopanagies pou exw riksei, exw klasei 300 pelates pou dipsane gia alkool kai aima.....to katapinw

Sou fernw ta gamwpota sou sth SOUITA sou....ki auto to katapinw

Eisai pio flwros ki apo aderfh se prwinadiko, enw h gomena sou aksizei li8ovolismo mono apo th fatsa ths.....ki auto to katapinw

Me ka8ystereis epishs me tis paparologies sou....ki auto to katapinw


ALLA RE GAMHMENE VLEPEIS TO TABELAKI MOU KAI GRAFEI "HEAD-BARMAN/GOTZILA-FUCKER" GAMW TO 8EO SOU.
Exei anevei o IDIOS O 8EOS NA SE SERVIREI GAMW KAI TON ANTIXRISTO SOU kai 8ewreis oti to bourbouar mou aksizei na einai 30 gamimena cents?!!!!?!?!?!

REALLY!?!?!?!?!?!?

Kai me ksepetas legontas mou oti "sygnwmh pou den exw parapanw na sou dwsw".....me to portofoli sto xeri???????????????????????????????????????????

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Teleiwnei to service....
Exw ka8arisei th bara.....
Exw hremhsei....
Kai tote rwtaw ta paidia poios daimonas htan autos pou eixe parageilei ta moxita kai ta dakiouri kai mou ekshgoun oti htan 4 Ollandoi, pio fthnoi ki apo anapthra Bic, pou den afhnane bourbouar oute sent ki apofasisane ekeinh th mera na ginoun xlidatoi..........

tritos gyros xristopanagies.....

lew 8a paw gia byra sto rokadiko pou einai ekei konta.....

treis byres argotera eimai etoimos na pyrovolh8w sto boutso, giati o dj-mounodoulos eixe 2 gomenakia panw sth bara kai tous evaze oti pio touristikh rokia yphrxe....
H8ela na klapsw....h8ela na skotw8w....

Afou loipon o malakas DEN GAMHSE giati oi mounitses shkw8hkane kai fygane arxise na vazei ta kala kommatia.....


TO XRISTO SOU KAI TH BANAGIA SOU KI ESENA POU SOU EXW AFHSEI TOSA LEFTA KI ESY 8ES NA GAMHSEIS TIS MALAKISMENES POU PIPILIZANE MIA BYRA 2 WRES.....

efhga 2 wres argotera otan ksanabhkane 3 mounitses mesa kai ksanarxise pali tis malakies.....gamhsou kai ksanagamhsou








Σάββατο, 19 Μαΐου 2012

STOP DA HATIN

    Apo arxhs gennhshs tou kosmou,emeis oi antres kai eidika oi mpakoures, pianoume ton eauto mas na leei, "koita to malaka ti mouni kouvalaei". H katastash mas einai, de, heiroterh otan gnorizoume oti auth h gomena, ektos apo mounos olympiakon diastaseon (to "omega" ta 'xei paiksei, zo ena efialth mera me th mera), einai kai poly kalo paidi kai fysika nomizeis oti 8a tairiaze kalytera dipla sou para sthn aggalia tou papara pou einai kai zoo (????)

   Den xreiazetai na miseis file mou kai oi logoi einai aploi!!!

Ola ksekinoun apo to faulo kyklo tou "autos goustarei authn, pou goustarei enan allon, pou autos kovei fleva gia allh ki emena me goustarei auth h "kalh" kopela, alla ti na to kano pou einai xontrh ki ego gamao mono modela".....toso apla.

   deuteron, ma8e oti kai oi gynaikes to idio zhleuoun an kai oxi toso oso emeis se va8mo apognoshs kai kakomoirias....alla auto hdh to ksereis agaphte synandra, giati auth einai h parhgoria sou ka8e fora pou katapineis amashth th xylopita, otan ths thn pefteis sta mouloxta, thn ora pou o allos leipei.

   ki an den ths thn peseis, kaneis to akoma pio loou-life, na auto-friendzone-aristeis gia na exeis ka8aro to koutelo sou, oti eisai o ftoxos kai monos kaoumpoys pou exeis pia gamhsei olh th gh kai th Mesh Gh kai pou sto boutso sou "ki allh mia gomena einai ki auth more".
 Alla otan thn vlepeis kai sou erxetai me auto to xamogelaki, pou esfalmena nomizeis oti yposxetai tsilibourdes, ginesai pio glykoulhs ki apo gofretta ION kai daganeis th glossa sou mhn ths petaksei katala8os kanena "S.A.G.A.P.O." kai gineis robidio gia
 after-bath.

Akou ta apo mena pou ta exo kanei polles fores...

Pote den epetrepsa se gomena na me friend-zone-arei apo monh ths, akoma kai stis pio agries xylopites mou, alla tis frie......gamise to.....tis frendzonara ego. To xeirotero vevaia einai, otan o "malakas" einai filos sou......poooooo re malaka pikra lemeeeeeee.....


Alla akou to apo mena pali. An den tairiazan, den 8a htan mazi kai akouo pali thn kraugh sou na leei "maaaaa........"


SKASE

koita allou kai mhn asxolh8eis, akoma ki an xorisoun....

dose ston eauto sou merika xronakia kai na 8ymasai PANTA

"MERIKES FORES OI GOMENES DEN EINAI AUTO POU VLEPEIS"

ego pali....mia xara eimai monaxoulhs mou....kyrios!!!
exo apovalei PLHROS to agxos mou na vro na gamhso 'h na kano desmo, giati sta tomaria san ki emena, auto to agxos odhgei se kaka neura....ta neura ths agamias pou lene kai meta ginontai ola bourdello


SHINOBI (auto to tomari to egrapsa gia na aukshso tis 8easeis tou blog, mias kai einai mia dhmofilhs xamoura)




Πέμπτη, 17 Μαΐου 2012

PORNOPEDEIA PART 2: DOING YOUR MOM

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AXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAA!!!!!


kala twra, sovara pisteuate oti 8a evgaza kai deutero meros sto YPERTATO EPOS pou eixa grapsei?????
....me greeklish?????


kai xwris th dynatothta na eimai monos s' ena dwmatio kai na xwnw pornografiko yliko AVERTA?????




Sygnwmh, edw o Omhros den evgale "Illiada part 2", pisteuate oti 8a amaurwna egw to onoma mou kai na me lete meta "emporako" kai oti paw gia ta noumera????




.....kala 'ntaks' paw gia ta noumera, alla oxi poustika.


.....kala 'ntaks' htan ligo poustikos o titlos, ews paraplanhtikos.


Alla den ftaiw egw.
Protaprilia den ekana kamia plaka, opote eipa na thn kanw shmera sta gene8lia mou!!!


An einai na steilete euxes, as eiste ligo pio au8entikoi kai na mhn xrhsimopoihsete tis idies klisadoures pou akouw ka8e xrono, "kala na pernas", "kala gamhsia pshle", "na se xairomaste"kai alla tetoia grafika.






    Kanete th diafora
Parte twra to au8entiko


http://ocelebritis.blogspot.com/2011/12/pornopedia.html
   sas gamw
me agaph
Xwsthras!!!

Τρίτη, 15 Μαΐου 2012

H 8EOGONIA KATA TON XWSTHRA

   


   Ena kairo, xiliades xronia prin me anakalypsei h fysh, yphrxe enas 8eos kai te8oia.
Autos apofasise tote na ftiaksei tous an8rwpous kai ta ypoloipa zwa, gia na exei ki autos ena thim-park na ksekourazetai tis Kyriakes kai na autokavlantizetai pou einai toso gamatos kai gyalisteros.


   Meta pou eftiakse ola ta gamata zwa (kai eidika tis araxnes pou trwne ta gamwkounoupa), arxise na ftiaxnei kai ton an8rwpo. Alla oxi se mia, alla polles parallages, gia na paizei kai ligo ratsizmos kai na exoume stand-ap-komedi me ratsistika asteia na gelame.


   Sthn arxh ftiaxnei tous maurous, glitzerous kai peinaleous kai tous afhke sthn Afrikh gia na maurisoun pio kala kai na einai pio kalopshmenoi apo tous ypoloipous. Gia na antista8misei thn adikia, tous edwse kati pswles NAAAAAAA kai apofasise kai oti kai oi apogonoi tous 8a exoune kati pswles NAAAAAAA, tetoies wste oi gomenes na kanoune monozygo kai askhseis aeros. Alla gia na to ksanaferei sta isa tou apofasise oti mia megalh meiopshfia tous, 8a exei kai tis mikroteres pswles sto gozmo, opote malakizmenes na ma8ainete oti otan einai na pate me mauro, riskarete poly na pesete kai se periptwsh-pekinoua. Tous edwse epishs to xarisma na exoun megalous kai dynatous myes, tetoious pou 8a zhleue kai ena alogo, wste na .....boroun na skotwnontai mono me bistolia metaksy tous sto Bronx kai sto Harlem gia psyllou phdhma.


    Meta eftiakse tous Indianous, alla oxi autous apo thn India, alla tous allous pou zousan sthn Amerikh. Autous den tous kalopshse, gia na boroun na diaferoun apo tous maurous kai tous edwse kati mytes san tsigelia, wste na fainontai agrioi kai mysthriwdeis. Toso mysthriwdeis, pou den kseroume kan ti sxhma exoun oi pswles tous. Fhmes lene oti den vriskontai kan sto klassiko shmeio anamesa sta podia, giati se oles oi anaparastaseis tous pou einai me foustes psa8ines, den vlepoume pou8ena ixnos pswlhs, anti8eta tous vlepoume synexeia me kati terastia ftera sto kefali, gegonos pou dikaiologei tis ypopsies mou oti einai h an8rwpinh ekdoxh tou monokerou.




    Meta eftiakse tous kitrinous kai tous Indous (nai autous pou zoun sthn kanonikh India kai oxi sth moufa pou anakalypse o Kwlomvos) kai tous evale na dialeksoun to xrwma tous, ta matia tous kai to plh8os ths trixas. Oi kitrinoi dialeksan prwtoi me poustia kai phran ta matia kai to kitrino xrwma, enw oi Indoi phran tis trixes. Opote edwse kai stous 2 mikres pswles.
     Evale tous kitrinous pou den eixan trixes na zoun se xwres me poly kryo kai tous ekane kontous san hobbits. Tous Indous pou eixan polles trixes, tous evale na zoun sthn India kai na idrwnoun san poustides me tosh trixa kai gi' auto vrwmoun kai zexnoun. H diastaurwsh metaksy tous, mas edwse merikes akoma endiaferouses fyles, opws tous Pakistanous kai tous Bagladesianous pou geniountai me ena kouva ki mia allh malakia, pou den kserw pws th lene gia na ka8arizoun tzamia kai syxnazoun sta fanaria.


   Meta eftiakse tous leukous kai eipe "autous 8a tous afhsw apshtous" kai tous evale sthn Eurwph gia na sxhmatisoun thn Eurozwnh kai na anakalypsoun to podosfairo kai th malakia to badminton. 
    Mes sth megalopshxia tou, tous edwse mia plh8wra pswlwn, diaforwn sxhmatwn kai mege8wn, wste na mh variountai kai na boroun na exoun kai kathgories pswlhs sta tsontokanala tou internet.




    Meta apo polles amfivolies kai eswterikes maxes, apofasise na ftiaksei kai tous Ellhnes, alla o 8eos ekeinh thn epoxh htan se toso bourdello psyxologikh fash, wste vghkame liiiiigo.....gamhse ta.
   Gi' auto kai mas evgale kai se 2 diaforetikes faseis.


H prwth htan peiramatikh. Eftiakse prwta tous Krhtikous kai tous Spartiates me gamhsterosynh perissia kai kati pswles san sarissa voutigmenh sto anavoliko kai evale tous allous laous na mas epiti8ontai, wste na exei ki autos to diko tou on-lain-stratetzi geim kai panta nikousame, giati eixame divain-wouil kai seiving-8roou akoma ki otan to palouki htan miso xiliosto prin bei sto gwlo mas.    Kapakia, mas ekane sofous san gourou kai mas evale me to zori n' anakalypsoume th grafh gia na boroume na deixnoume stis epomenes genies ti arixdatoi eimaste.


    Otan vare8hke, leei "de gamietai", parataei to paixnidi kai paei gia ypno, afhnontas mas sto eleos twn ork pou zousan gyrw-gyrw.
Mexri na ksypnhsei eixe ginei to kako. Latinoi glitzides "erastes" ths kwlaras, dourkoi, eurwpaikh enwsh kai loipoi arxisan na mas phdoun alyphta. Otan ksypnhse htan pleon arga. Oi ellhnes eixan ginei pio eurwpaioi ki apo tous eurwpaious kai pio dourkoi ki ap' tous dourkous. Tote apofasise na kanei th drastikh kinhsh.


   Dhmiourgise, mesa sthn sofia tou, tis Rwssides kai ton Tzipra.


Κυριακή, 13 Μαΐου 2012

KATALAVAINEIS OTI MEGALWSES OTAN...

1...vlepeis ligo kymmataki sth 8alassa kai arneisai peismatika na mpeis gia proponhsh na kolymphseis.Gia sena h 8alassa prepei na einai hremh kai galhnia san pisina gemath elaiolado. Ant' autou kaneis diples proponhseis sto gymnasthrio gia thn anaplhrwsh ths "xasouras".
Pleon exeis orkistei na beis se kymmatwdh 8alassa, mono gia na swseis akoma ena kakomoirh pou pnhgetai kai auto oxi toso gia an8rwpistikous logous, oso gia th doksa kai thn eukairia na se 8aumaksoune ta gomenakia se rolo Mits Bioukanan (etsi grafetai sta greeklish).

2...pas se metal-party kai DEN kwloxtypiesai san epilhptikos me thn ka8e paparia pou 8a valei o ditzei (etsi grafetai, mhn ta ksanaleme), alla perimeneis ekeina ta apisteuta, monadika, true kai FANTASTIKA kommatia....pou fysika esy exeis paraggeilei na sou valei.

3...pas se bar kai exontas piei (kati liga kai oxi se shmeio na ginesai kwlotrypida sta ksydia), APAGOREUEIS sto barman n'anoiksei auth thn teleutaia byra pou 8elei nasekeraseivremalaka. Ennoeitai pws h 8ea ths tekillas pleon, se kanei na epididesai se diplo face-palm kai ksinila sth mapa....oxi alla hangover.

4...anoigeis blog gia na moirasteis th "sofia" sou kai me ton ypoloipo kosmo, enw agaphmenh sou pleon asxolia exei ginei kapoio
 onlain-geim (gamw opoion 8a sxoliasei ta greeklish mou).

5(kai xeirotero)...den kynhgas pleon gomenes, oute touristries, oute ntopies...ta 'xeis vrei pleon me ton eauto sou kai goustareis na douleueis san eilwtas. Agaphmenh sou parea exoun ginei oi syntaksiouxoi touristes kai ta zeugarakia gia na tous kazouriazeis mexri dakrywn me atakes pou ema8es apo ta video tou Ray William Johnson....'ntaks'...trelo pathetic-liki....


....telika mallon exw arxisei, eite na aderfizw (xlwmo san albino), gernaw (paizei, an kai deixnw san 27rhs), 'h apla perimenw na ksanamakrinei to malli (kariola Ema gamw thn wra pou sou esteila to gamhmeno mynhma sto fb kai se gnwriza)


SXOLIA SYMPARASTASHS 8A SVHNONTAI, DEN 8ELW EGW PARHGORIA


Πέμπτη, 10 Μαΐου 2012

DEN EINAI OLA GAY

Mia mikrh, droserh anarthsoula gia to kalokairi loipon...




Eisai o antras?
Eisai o PIO ANTRAS AP' OLOUS TOUS POUSTIDES POU KYKLOFOROUN EKEI EKSW?
otan kaulwneis, gamas kai xyneis?


yparxoun panta merika pragmata sth zwh sou, pou oso kai na xtypiesai san peteinos sfagmenos, oti den ta kaneis, ta kaneis giati eisai mia kwlompina kai ta vaftizeis "euais8htes pleures tou eautou sou", mono kai mono gia na ta apenoxopoihseis....kata t' alla omws ta kryveis san masonos, apo ton ypoloipo kosmo.


Paradeigmatos xarin...akous merikes mpalantes pou se kanoun na dakryzeis san gomena otan ema8e oti perimenei paidi apo ton erwta ths zwhs ths, parollo pou den einai h mousikh pou akous...sta lew egw pou kykloforw me ta atsalokarfa kai tis alysides, alla otan paizei to "Kiss from a rose" tou Seal, 'h to "Forever" twn Stratovarious (sth live-akoustikh ekdoxh pou exoun paei s' ena sxoleio), kanw les ki exw ka8arisei ena forthgo krommydia KAI EIMAI KAI PIO ANTRAS APO TOUS POUSTIDES POU KYKLOFOROUN EKEI EKSW.




allo




ama sou deiksei kanena wraio gomenaki ligo parapanw endiaferon, apo to aplo ftysimo, pa8aineis sok. 
   Exeis synh8hsei thn pita kai thn adiaforia kai exeis kollhsei to myalo sou sto "oles oi gynaikes einai kariolopornidia" kai to pleon klassikotero "den mou ka8ontai giati EGW den tous thn peftw, giati eimai pxoiotikos kai den paw me tsoulia kserwgw". Otan loipon mia ap' autes pou synh8ws vrizeis, sou kounisei ligo ouritsa 'h/kai se akoumphsei kata th diarkeia ths synomilias sas, ginesai TOSO FLWROS  kai saliarhs, pou mprosta sou o Tryfwnas Samaras fantazei indalma testosteronhs kai Abdoul, meta to mpanio me AXE (gia osous 8ymountai to palio diafhmistiko)....mpravo....eisai o xeiroteros. Kai oxi giati ginesai loula kai traveli, akoma kai mprosta stous filous sou, alla epeidh prospa8eis na tous peiseis olous oti auth "diaferei" kai "exei pxoiothta".




aaaallo




krazeis diafores ekpompes kai programmata (kyriws meshmeriana), oti einai "skoupidia kai gia ta baza", thn idia stigmh pou ksereis ap' eksw tous syntelestes tous. Kai meta, otan katala8os petakseis kamia paparia stous filous sou gia to tade koutsompolio kai afou ksekinhsei to kraksimo tou korakiou gia to poso aderfh eisai, pas na ta mpalwseis legontas "eeee to eida sto facebook/h gomena mou me eprhkse na mou to pei"....arxidia. To koutsompolio einai sth fysh sou. Egw px, prin diavasw to "psyxiatreio" den hksera poios sto boutso einai o Ougarezos. Eida pou ton ekraze o Koko kai mou eixe kotsarei kai fwtografia tou o arouganos (s' agapaw vre malaka, skase) kai ton ema8a, ALLA DEN ASXOLH8HKA.




aaaaaaallo




Prin piaseis diplwma kai timoni sta xeria sou, evrizes tous malakes pou kagouriazane t' amaksia tous kai kanane malakies sto dromo otan vlepane gomenakia....kseeereis twra....mpantilikia, terma to cd-player n' akoustei to neo arxidobitaki tou tade flwrou pou to ekane mix me bouzouki kai alla te8oia wraia.
Me to pou pairneis to diplwma sta xeria......wwwwwwwwwwwwppp (!!!) metamorfwnesai ston kagoura pou pote den oneireuosoun oti 8a ekselhx8eis.
Alla epeidh 8ewreis to kagourema tou autokinhtou, petamena lefta (kyriws giati eisai afragos kai meneis me th mama sou), me to pou deis gomenakia, psaxneis to kontinotero shmeio tou dromou me tsa'i'li kai ammoxaliko (sto ellada den einai dyskolo na to vreis), katevazeis apo tetarth, deutera kai patas to gazi apotoma giati eisai prwta8lhths sta mpantilikia.....alla sto play-station tou spitiou sou....tautoxrona anevazeis 100 tonous thn entash ths mousikh sto player me th dikaiologia "PREPEI N' AKOUSTEI KAI LIGO HEAVY-METAL EPITELOUS S' AUTH THN KWLOPOLH" kai "PAME RE MOUNIA SAXON GAMW TH BOUTANAMOUKSERWGW", perimenontas oti ta gomenakia 8a kopsoun apotoma to skyladiko kai 8a to riksoun stous Motorhead epeidh eisai kai poly gamatos odhgos....arxidia....oute gia klassimo den se exoun me to FIAT PANDA  sou 'h xeirotera, me to GAMW-TOYOTA YARIS sou.




file kai synodoipore antra.....ta vlepeis ola "mouni" kai oso arxidatos kai na eisai, panta etsi 8a ta vlepeis....apla paradeksou to!!!

Τρίτη, 8 Μαΐου 2012

FANTASOU

...oti eisai pshlos.


   Ths poutanas pshlos omws, oxi gigantas, alla ena, 8hriodws pshlo, palikari.
   Toso pshlos pou t' arxidia sou ksekinane apo th mesh tou mpoutiou sou kai gia na t' akoumphseis prepei na tentwseis to xeri sou xamhla.
Epishs, h fysh se exei eksoplhsei me mia poutsara NAAAAAA...htoi, ena matsouki aparamilhs omorfias kai symmetrias kai oxi san to kanoniko sou, pou einai mikro kai gernei pros t' aristera, deixnontas sou profil me nazi (o tonos sto "a"), otan einai se katastash lh8hs.


OOOOOOOXI, auto edw einai toso gamato pou 8a ekane tous Satyrous ths arxaias Elladas, na kremasoun koudounia kai na pane epitelous sta livadia na voskane vrouves, anti na gamane tis gynaikes twn an8rwpwn.


   Se periptwsh pou eisai kopela, fantasou oti eisai mia pshlh LESVIARA, pou foraei ena dildo-ekskafea me tis idies akrivws analogies




  Meta se pane s' ena souper-market (etsi grafetai sta greeklish) pou exei ena kai monadiko rafi, to opoio omws gia na to ftaseis, xreiazetai na sthrix8eis sta daxtyla twn podiwn sou.
S' auto to rafi vlepeis ta kefalia apo kati patomouna pou einai me anoixto to stoma apo to mege8os tou matzaflariou kai einai ksaplwmenes mproumyta. Dhladh, ap' olh th gomena sto rafi, esy vlepeis mono to kefali ths.



   Sthn akrh tou rafiou, pou vrisketai poly makrya, yparxei ena elathrio pou tis sprwxnei pros to meros sou. Esena h douleia sou einai na tis karfwseis oles me to stoma sto kavli apanw kai me dynamh mexri na vgei apo to sverko (kala milame gia poly arrwsteia, etsi?). Den s' endiaferei na xyseis, esena douleia sou einai na tis kaneis oles kempab sthn pipa, panw sto ekplhktika kataplhktiko palouki sou....pes oti eisai o Vlad o Paloukwths ths tsontas....kai te8oia.




   O kalyteros tropos gia na to petyxeis auto, einai na aplwseis th xeroukla sou apanw sto kefali ths gomenas, tentwnontas to kormi sou kai me mia dynath kinhsh cobra, na th sverkwseis kai na th fereis me dynamh KAI PARALLHLA ME TO KORMI SOU, mexri th vash tou Gioutsou, se shmeio pou to laryggi ths n' apokthsei neo aeragwgo.Exontas katastrepsei thn prwth, to allo sou xeri exei hdh kinh8ei me via kai taxythta panw sthn epomenh, pou me thn idia kinhsh-cobra thn exeis arpaksei kai thn exeis patikwsei panw sthn prwth kai synexizeis enallaks.


   Apo thn poly gamhsterosynh, ka8e pou kaneis souvlaki 2 gomenes koitas kai sta aristera 'h sta deksia (analoga me thn fantasia sou), koitwntas ths mounares pou etoimazontai na sou er8oun. To aima reei panw sta boutia sou, alla esy de noiazesai giati gamas san Ounos.


   Poly grhgora pozeriazesai toso poly, pou arxizeis to moonwalk stis mytes twn podiwn sou, giati paraeisai gamatos kai synexizeis mexri na niwseis oti exeis apokthsei koiliakous kai bratsa-beton armee....






KAI ETSI AKRIVWS GAMW TO SPITI SAS KOLYMPANE STH 8ALASSA.




mhn ksanadw kanena flwro na kolympaei les kai krataei 2 karpouzia sth masxales tou giati 8a ton pnhksw









Δευτέρα, 7 Μαΐου 2012

mallon exw leipsei poly kairo........

den eixa skopo na kanw toso grhgora mia anarthsh....alla kanontas mia anazhthsh sto google xrhsimopoiontas mia random leksh opws to "mounara", den evgale to blog mou oute kan stis prwtes 11 selides, pou paliotera me evgaze sthn arxikh tou google prin kan pathsw "enter"......bastardia 8a epistrepsw aurio me ar8rara

Πέμπτη, 3 Μαΐου 2012

KI AUTO TO BLOG

edw kai kairo parakolou8w ena arxidi trofanto me ena blog pou eixe gamh8ei pio poly ki apo mena na diafhmizetai sto tsat tou Mikeius.

   Mphka na dw ti einai kai frikara ths poutanas omws. Anor8ografia kai dysleksia sta oria ths trelas kai kafrila sta oria ths lovotomhs.

 H Hwsthrouba omws perimene sta skoteina kai den ginotan follower kai te8oia giati h8ele na dei pou to phgaine.

Afou loipon arxise na aggizei thn koryfh kai oi anarthseis tou arxisan pia na vgazoun ena nohma gia to ti eidous moggolos einai, arxisa na gelaw kai na gelaw dynata me thn parth tou.

Me xara loipon sas parousiazw ton arxonta ths psyxizatrikhs pterygas tou Korydallou, thn travesth psyxh, ton overlord ths dysleksias....ton Koko!!!!